The Art of Saying No — Event Recap: WIN LDN x 8th Day
In order to prioritise and be the best you can be, being able to say no is essential. And yet, many of us still feel uncomfortable articulating it out loud. Sometimes it’s because we are worried that we might upset someone, other times we get FOMO and a lot of times we worry that we might miss out on a potentially career-enhancing opportunity.
But the reality is, by saying yes to everything, we often wind up disappointing people, exhausting ourselves, or simply failing. Not only does this impact our personal lives but it’s bad for innovation. As Steve Jobs once famously said -
“I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying ‘no’ to 1,000 things. You have to pick carefully.”
So how can we master the art of saying no? Hosted by Dai, a sustainable womenswear brand for the modern working woman, in their London pop-up concept space, WIN London collaborated with the team at 8th Day, a strategic insight and innovation agency to unpack how we can get more comfortable with this one powerful word.
Here are our top three takeaways to help you rethink the power of saying no in your life:
Here are three key takeaways:
1. Reframe saying ‘no’ as saying ‘yes’
Sometimes we need to eliminate good opportunities to get to our best work and by saying ‘no’ it simply means that we value our time. To do this we need to reframe how we perceive the word no and remember that by saying no we are actively saying yes to something else.
‘Think of it this way - by saying NO, I am saying YES to doing my best – at work, at home, for clients, for family and friends and for myself,’ says Chloe Williams, co-founder of 8th Day. For many of us, this means more time to pursue more purposeful activities, as well as time to focus on creative tasks and our own wellbeing.
Plus the secret of learning to say ‘no’ that people don’t tell you? It makes your ‘yes’ that much more powerful.
Credit: Nadia Piet
2. Buy yourself time to think and evaluate objectively why it’s a no or yes
When you are asked a question, it’s key to not feel forced to answer immediately – so buy yourself time to weigh up your options and properly consider the ask.
Think about what’s informing your decision – is this urgent, or can it actually wait? Can someone else besides you do it? How will the decision reflect on you? What will saying yes or no cost you physically, mentality and emotionally?
Once you’ve considered these, setting boundaries will allow you to make yourself a priority, whether that’s in self-care or career aspirations. And remember to trust your intuition.
3. Tonally deliver your no like a yes – full of positive intention
Nobody likes hearing a no, which means we probably need some techniques to deliver our no’s more effectively.
Saying no can be difficult but once you get comfortable with it you’ll be amazed at just how much time (and brain space) you’ll free up for what’s important to you. ‘Giving a reason gives your NO added weight – it stops the conversation opening back up,’’ says Sam Gomez, co-founder of 8th Day. ‘If you’re offering alternatives put the ball in their court.’
Just be upfront, polite, genuine, and, if appropriate, offer an alternative solution. And, if you still have regrets you should remind yourself what you have said yes to instead.
Written by Victoria Buchanan
8th Day: Chloe Williams and Sam Gomez
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